Transformation happens through change in me. To start the change process, I question my beliefs. I allow something new and thus unknown to me to come in and in.

How do I start this change process?

By taking sole responsibility for me in all situations that seem to go wrong between myself and others or between me and the world. This step usually triggers resistance.


We have all learned that the “other” who behaved incorrectly according to social laws is responsible for making me feel good again. To do this, he should recognize his mistake, acknowledge and apologize to me and “make amends” as far as possible. If that doesn’t happen, we’ll get into trouble. How do we get there now that we can feel good again? If we have been wronged, it seems that it is impossible for us to feel good until this injustice is recognized and the perpetrator is held responsible.

This view means that we are caught in a dependency on another. We are only released from the situation if he does something specific. Change in me, that is transformation, means that I withdraw from this dependency.


By taking responsibility for my own feelings and daring to feel the pain caused by the situation in me. It sounds easy at first, but it is not.


Nobody likes to feel pain or a feeling other than negative. As a rule, we have trained throughout our lives to do everything to avoid having to feel negative feelings or to get rid of them as quickly as possible.

There are many ways to feel the negative feelings so that they no longer keep us trapped. You can only find the best one for yourself by trying it out.

We were helped by Mike Helwig with radical permission, Safi Nidiaye and Ms. Gebauer with body-centered heart work, Simone Frese with kinesiology, Brad Blanton and Tulia Syvänen with radical honesty. Here you can find more about our Inspirations.